Coopers Super Awesome Lemon of Awesomeness
by Icedragon456789
Summary: This is a joke set of oneshots that should in no way be taken seriously, read if you want a good laugh. Some are AU


**A/N**

 **Hey there readers this is the first of a series of lemons that my best friend cooper will be writing, and myself betaing, and posting. All of these are going to be fucked up and i'm not entirely sure where we got these ideas. I added in my own additions from my commentary while i was trying to backseat write this, and we think it adds a humorous feel to these stories that should definitely not be taken with any form of seriousness.**

 **These will come out as fast as copper and I can write and edit them**

 **And now for the pain in every writers ass known as the disclaimer,**

 **Cooper nor I own any of the characters mentioned or the fairy tail series itself.**

regular text

 _ **me talking**_

 **cooper talking**

 **and with that please enjoy the story**

Coopers Super awesome Lemon!

By Cooper

Natsu, Erza, and their catfish sex toy were sitting on a pair enjoying the sunset and the screams of the damned echoing up from the eternal abyss of hell, when suddenly Natsu started to feel excited from the golden sun and hellish moans. His pants started to get tighter and hotter. Erza reached over and rested her hand on Natsu's lap. Noticing just how hard Natsu was she looked over and smiled at him. "Hey big boy, or should I say big HARD boy, want to go back home and take care of your problem?" Asked Erza smirking.

Natsu sighed and said "you're always right, let's get in the car and go home." Their catfish sex toy, sensing what was going to happen tried to waddle his way into the water to swim to freedom. However his hopes were dashed as Natsu quickly caught him and said "Oh no you don't mister; Erza and I still need your 'help' in our activities." A smirk reaching his face as he imagined all of the dirty things this catfish had helped him accomplish. Said catfish could only wiggle and moan in horror at what was to ensue. Natsu was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a car horn and saw Erza in the driver's seat of their 2008 Honda odyssey, which Erza had convinced Natsu to buy when they "had kids" that of course would never happen with how rough they were in bed.

In any matter Natsu opened the door and sat in the driver's seat of the car, carefully pushing Erza to the floor and wrapping his legs around her head to put them on the pedals. He tossed a blanket over his lap and started the car. Erza knowing the signal slowly undid his pants and took out his member. As it sprang forth from its confines and Erza enveloped it into her mouth, she couldn't help but wonder if this was safe or not.

But then she remembered one critical detail, she didn't fucking care as long as she got what she wanted, and she always got what she wanted. As Natsu drove through traffic and Erza used her glorious mouth to keep him right on the edge, the both of them couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at the fact they had reached their destination, but remembering the activity that would follow they both got out of the car, Natsu almost forgetting to pull up his pants. Rushing into the bedroom, going back for their catfish, and returning to their room again, they quickly drew their curtains shut and triple checking that all of the doors and windows were shut and locked, Natsu went down on Erza. Ripping her clothes off and tossing it to the corner of the room, he then suddenly became gentle and carefully massaged Erza's left breast as his mouth was working on the right one, his tongue circling her nipple.

Erza, for her part, was not submissive nor dominate as she carefully massaged Natsu's balls and ran her hand up the length of Natsu's stallion of a cock. Natsu then began trailing his way down the rest of her body, he found himself at her beautiful flower _**(that totally didn't smell like clams)**_ and he went at it. Licking it and nibbling at her bud, he then inserted his tongue and worked her like a clown at a bratty two year olds birthday party, which is to say just enough to get over the terror and begin to admire the devotion. As Natsu closed in on her orgasm he stopped.

Erza, looking at him, asked "Why did you stop? I need it." Natsu smirked and replied "I Just felt that our friend needed to get in on the action." as he held up the catfish. While he slowly inserted the fish _**(who may or may not have been enjoying the TOTALLY nonexistent clam smell)**_ into her pussy and wriggled it about he couldn't help but feel jealous of the damn thing. When he removed it Erza said "No matter how many times I take him You always feel bigger." (His size is constant as a full grown catfish but that's beside the point) "Don't worry." Natsu said "I always feel much better too." Both giggling at the perverse thought Natsu slid a fourth of _**his FUCKING RECORD BREAKINGLY MASSIVE COCK**_ the way in gently before throwing caution and forethought out the window. He slammed the remainder into her pink _**cloyst**_ , * **Ahem*** penis pocket and drove her quickly into her next orgasm.

Reaching forward and roughly grabbing both her tits and slamming into her hole as she moaned and begged for it like a bitch in heat. Somewhere in the middle of the euphoria Erza and Natsu had flipped into the doggy position and when Natsu noticed this he slammed into her all the harder. As he felt that splendid wonderful feeling swell up inside of him and plowed her harder "I'm cumming." They yelled at the same time. ( _ **Thus marking the graduation of smell from clams to squid**_ **DUDE!** _**alright**_ _)_ After that uproarious exclamation Natsu quickly filled her up with his hot, sticky, _**admittedly tasty**_ _,_ spunk. When the euphoria ebbed off the both couldn't help but notice the still very hard fleshy log practically splitting apart her wonderfully moist pussy.

Natsu, getting ready to change positions and start again, was _**rather rudely**_ interrupted. "I have a better idea" she said slyly " I got a new toy custom made." " Well, What is it." Natsu asked "Close your eyes and you'll see" said Erza smirking. As Natsu complied and tightly shut his eyes Erza reached under the bed and pulled out two things, a harness and their catfish sex toy ( _ **Who was in a state of euphoria from the squid-like smell (which definitely wasn't there) and**_ _ **–**_ **Dude is this really necessary?** _ **Of course it is**_ _ **.**_ **But –** _ **Do you want my help with this story or not**_ _ **? ) **_Sliding into the harness she inserted the catfish tail first into her soaked nether lips. As she experienced a new sense of pleasure she took a look down and noticed just how penis like her catfish sex toy looked.

 _ **Dude are you sure we should put that in? I've seen catfish before and they look nothing like **__**–**_ **Quiet you!**

Nodding to herself as that's exactly what she wanted she told Natsu to open his eyes. Natsu not noticing anything asked "Well? What did you want to show me?" "Just look down and see" Erza smirked. Natsu's eyes widened and he said "W-what is th-t-that?" "I thought that since you let me feel so good I would help you feel the same way" Erza says soothingly. "w-well" Natsu stuttered "I d-don't know about th-this" "Please" Erza persisted "Just this once if you don't like it we wont ever do it again." "Well alright." Natsu lamented and raised his legs. Erza smiled as she guided the catfish head to Natsu's chocolate starfish.

 _ **Don't let the name deceive you, it definitely doesn't taste like chocolate**_ _ **.**_

Pushing it into him Erza held Natsu's hand as he moaned in pain and pleasure, and when it was in all the way she let it wriggle around to let Natsu slowly get used to the feeling before slowly pulling it out until just the head remained inside. Then without hesitation Erza, with strength unknown to the two of them, flipped Natsu over and relentlessly slammed into Natsu at a speed rivaling his earlier. Natsu screamed in pain as felt like he was going to be split in two. Erza reaching around Natsu began tugging on his member to lesson the pain.

 _ **I've tried this before and its not easy nor does it lesson the pain of having a rod of flesh shoved up your asshole.**_ **That's enough out of you.**

As Natsu's pain filled moans faded into those of pleasure, he couldn't help but begin to love it. "Fuck me Erza. Make me your man bitch." Natsu pleaded. Erza smirked and said "gladly" as Natsu came from pure anal stimulation, since Erza had long since let go of his schlong, he realized that he liked it. Erza, smiling at Natsu's unconscious form and began to feel tired and fell asleep still wearing her new toy. The catfish **_(still loving that heavenly smell of squid that TOTALLY didn't exist)_** wriggling in both of them driving them to further orgasms in their sleep, thought to himself 'these games are fun, but I wish I wasn't the sex toy.'

 **A/N We have fucked up minds, leave a comment giving your criticism or praise, whichever you prefer, both helps.**


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